God’s will, not mine.

I was born in the United States of America. I attended church with my praying, loving father each and every sunday. I have seen how the talents of one person or many can be a great thing to use in the house of GOD. God gave us our talents to use in glorifying him and bringing about his kingdom. If you could sing, you sang. If you had spiritual gifts, loved Jesus with all your heart, you took your personality, your experience and you worked to bring others to Christ. I had always grown up around the gospel of Jesus Christ. My loving father had been a local minister and traveled with a gospel quartet of his school peers he had known as a teenager in school. I am grateful he was able to share all that with me growing up. I have always since I can remember, felt I had the calling on my life to minister the gospel of Jesus Christ to others. I kept hearing the voice of God telling me to go beyond my testimonies, my teaching Sunday School and Preach. I kept doubting and staying “middle of the fence” just in service to God but not giving myself to him completely.

All that changed when my wayward daughter moved in with me and gave birth to my first grandchild who I loved dearly. I would not go beyond saying I loved her more than I loved God. I took care of this precious baby and despite that, family and children services got called in because my daughter had earned a reputation here in town. I knew the person I was and although I had references from my doctor and nurse friends and passed all requirements for having my grandchild, I did not win when the final court date came up. I lost. I was devastated and almost wanted to turn away from God. How could he leave me and not make sure I had my grandchild with me? I became depressed and stopped going to church. I was in a hole I did not want to climb out of and I did not understand how this could have happened. However, God spoke to me on August 10th and told me he had other plans for my grandchild’s life and I had to respect and accept that. I now knew that just because you are a child of God does not mean all will go your way. It all depends on God’s will for your life and the lives of those around you.

I still miss my grandchild with all my heart, but I do get a picture of her twice a year with no other contact. I am thankful for that. God showed me that I loved my grandchild to much and I was obsessed with having her with me. The people that have her now are good to her and all I can do is pray for her but through this experience, I opened up my heart and mind to realize that God wants me to become a minister of the gospel and spread the good news to others who are hurting and need to feel his divine touch.

I have only money sometimes enough to pay my bills and not always do I have that but I am on a mission to do what it is that God asks of me. My church family has done nothing but stand behind me and promoted me from being Sunday school teacher over the children to the adults now. I love all of them. I am thankful for CLI because I have looked for educational opportunities online and found nothing but bible study classes and i have done that and given the certificate to my pastor. It is time I had more to work with. I had no luck at finding what i was looking for online and decided one day to give it one more try and it happened. I was able to find Christian Leaders Institute and have been studying ever since.

A scholarship at CLI would mean so much to me because it would enable me to see my father’s dream come true but I would be doing the walking in his shoes with Christ by my side not him. He has gone on to be with our Lord and never got to preach but a few times in his life. That dream will be fulfilled by me.

CLI can continue to pray for me as I work hard to become a knowledgeable minister of the gospel and pray for my guidance that I will take the gospel with me every place I go and I, myself will always be in prayer for opportunities to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.