My name is Erica Sosa from the USA, and I am studying to be prepared and equipped to minister at the Christian Leaders Institute (Learn more about online Bible classes, Click Here). I came to accept Jesus Christ into my heart two years ago, in May 2019. This month marks my second anniversary of being a born-again Christian! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
My Story Begins
No one ever told me about Jesus or God in school. My mom raised us Catholic. However, her hypocrisy, of being one way at home and another way at church, disgusted me. It made me draw away from God until we eventually stopped going to church altogether during my teenage years. Little did I know that God had his eyes on me. He would go on to use the very man that hurt me the most in my entire life: my ex-husband. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Therefore, he was extremely abusive toward me emotionally, mentally, and verbally throughout our whole relationship.
Struggles
When I was involved in this toxic relationship, from 2013 to 2017, my spirit was beaten and crushed down to nothing. That led me to start seeking love, a sense of worthiness, and validation elsewhere through the form of modeling. The modeling gigs seemed harmless at first, as I was initially only doing fashion shoots. But, over time, I started lowering my standards of what I was and wasn’t ok to do. The next thing I knew, I became a famous fetish/sex industry model on Instagram. I tried living a double life. So, after six months of cheating on my husband, I confessed what I had been doing behind his back. He was devastated but then confessed that he also had a dark secret. He had been unfaithful to me the whole time we were together with his ex-girlfriend.
We went our separate ways soon afterward. He moved to California, and I stayed in Chicago. I continued my highly glamorized and promiscuous Instagram model lifestyle. We did not talk for a whole year. Initially, the modeling, fame, and attention, and compliments from thousands of fans made me feel like I was on top of the world. I had never received so much love and admiration like that in my whole life! But as time went on, I realized how fake it all really was. All the thousands of men only loved my physical appearance. The women that followed me only loved me because I could make them famous too. No one actually loved or cared for me as a person.
Changes
Two years later, I was still working in the sex industry and making lots of money. However, I felt empty inside. So, I started seeking spirituality. I quickly came across all the New Age practices, but none of it really interested me.
However, during my seeking, what I did come across was the concept of “forgiveness and how that sets you free.” So, I decided to call my ex-husband in December 2018 to let him know, “all is forgiven, and I no longer hate him.” He was, of course, shocked. He told me that he was a Christian and started talking to me about Jesus. I had no interest, but he didn’t care. Every time we talked on the phone, he always brought up God. It annoyed me, but the hard walls around my heart started softening and crumbling as time went on. Six months later, in May 2019, I got down on my knees in my bedroom. I cried and prayed to Jesus like never before. A lifetime of struggle and chaos had so deeply broken me. I didn’t want Jesus. I desperately NEEDED Jesus.
Total Surrender and New Life
That same month, I quit my full-time “successful” sex industry modeling career. Convicted to surrender my whole life to Jesus, I gave Him my damaged and broken heart because that’s all I had to offer. I had nothing else. I prayed to Jesus with tears streaming down my face and my heart aching so painfully, “I’m so sorry Jesus, I wish I could give you a better gift, or at least a heart that was in much better condition. You deserve to receive the best of the best quality gift. But I’m sorry, this is all I have to offer you: a tattered and torn heart in terrible shape.”
I didn’t think he would be able to fix my brokenness. I thought I was broken beyond repair. But thank God, He proved me wrong! Jesus took all the broken pieces and remnants of my life. He lovingly and tenderly straightened up the chaotic mess I had gotten myself into.
Prepared and Equipped to Minister by Study at CLI
Through all the classes I have taken at Christian Leaders Institute, I realize that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. There is nothing for me to worry about because I am not relying on my own qualifications, skills, and abilities. Instead, I rely on God’s power, strength, and wisdom to lead me and lead through me. I am prepared and equipped to minister after my studies at CLI. After taking the Prayer class, I know that I am the strongest and most powerful on my knees praying.
CLI’s Leadership Excellence School is definitely a tool that God has used to change my life and bless me a hundredfold! I am forever grateful! I definitely feel thoroughly prepared and equipped to go out into the world and fulfill my share of The Great Commission.
Matthew 28:19-20 “And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and the earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”
